I was halfway down the hall with my chest in my arms when I heard him laugh.
Not the cold laugh he keeps for the pack. The real one. The one I used to think was mine.
The door to my old room stood open a hand's width, and the lamp inside was turned low and soft.
I told myself I only wanted my mother's comb. That was all.
Caelan stood by the bed with Miles against his shoulder, one big hand patting the boy's back.
Slow. Steady. Like the boy was the only thing in the world worth being careful with.
Miles had a fist in Caelan's collar and his eyes half shut, and Caelan was humming, low and off key.
Two years in this house and I had never once seen his face go that soft.
Rosalind: He only settles for you. I don't know what I'd do without you, Caelan.
Then he looked up and saw me, and the soft went out of him like a snuffed candle.
Caelan: What are you doing up here?
Avery: My comb. It's in the drawer.
Caelan: Get it, then. And don't stand in doorways listening to things that aren't yours.
Five words, and he made me feel like a thief in my own house.
I went to the drawer and my hands weren't steady anymore. My mother's comb was under a blue shawl that wasn't mine.
Rosalind: Avery, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for him to move you out. Truly.
Avery: Don't be sorry at me. It's worse than the rest of it.
Rosalind's mouth did that small hurt thing, and Caelan's jaw went tight, and I knew I'd pay for it.
Caelan: Rosalind. Take the boy. Go on.
He waited until the door clicked, and then he crossed the room at me.
Caelan: You want to talk to me like that in front of her again?
Avery: Let go of me.
Caelan: Not until you get it through your head. She's been through shit you can't imagine. Show her some fucking respect.
My heart was going like a bird in a sack. His mouth was close enough that I could smell the salt on him.
Avery: And what have I been through, Caelan? Or does that not count, because I'm the one who stayed?
For a second he just looked at me, and his eyes dropped to my mouth, and I hate that my body noticed. I hate that it leaned.
Then he let go of my apron like it had gone hot.
Caelan: You're still my wife.
Avery: Am I? Because a wife sleeps in a bed, Caelan, not on a cot beside a ledger.
Caelan: You're still my wife and you'll keep this house running. That doesn't change.
Caelan: I don't have to explain myself to you. The pack looks at you and sees the Alpha's wife. That's the deal. That's what your vow bought.
The deal. He said it to my face like I was a contract he'd signed and now had to live with.
Torin was coming up the stairs with a lamp and stopped dead when he saw us.
Caelan: Go on to bed, Torin. Nothing here.
Torin: Nothing. Right.
He went, and the hall got so quiet I could hear Miles babbling through the door.
Caelan: Move the rest of your things tonight. I don't want you up here again.
Then he was gone down the hall, and I stood in my old room with my mother's comb in my fist.
I carried the chest down to the ledger room and set it by the cot. The whole room smelled of ink and cold ash.
He wasn't even cruel tonight. That was the part that hollowed me out. He just didn't see me.
He'd hold another woman's child for an hour and give him my brother's medicine.
Then he told me I was still his wife like that was a kindness.
Two years I'd told myself he'd come around.
That if I kept his books clean and his house warm, one day he'd look at me the way he looks at her.
He never would. I knew it now, down in the cold part of me that doesn't lie.
So why was I still sitting here, waiting to hear his boots in the hall?