My name is Elowen Grieve, and I was still in the root cellar dirt when I took the paper from my boot.
A bond hearing request. It asks the council to let me out of a bond I never said yes to.
I stole it three weeks ago from a stack on the pack hall desk, while I cleared Hesper's plates.
Stealing from the pack. My hands shook the whole way home, and I did it anyway.
Name of wolf requesting the hearing. I wrote Elowen Grieve and my letters came out straight.
Name of mate. I wrote Maddox. Just Maddox. He would hate that I did not write Alpha.
Reason for request. One line, that was all they gave me.
I wrote: He rejected me as Luna and keeps the bond. I am not free to leave.
That is not half of it. But it was the half they could fix.
The last line was for my signature, and my hand shook so hard the pen jumped.
Signing meant the council would call him in. It meant he would know.
I signed it anyway. Elowen Grieve, in my own hand. Not Luna. Not his.
I walked the two miles into town with the paper folded inside my coat, and every car that passed made my heart jump.
That is what he built in me. A flinch where a person used to be.
The county clerk's office smelled like copier paper and old coffee, and the light made everyone look tired.
The woman behind the counter read my paper. Then she looked at my face.
I did not explain. I did not apologize for standing there.
She stamped it and wrote a date across the top, then tore the copy off along the perforation.
She told me the council would send word within ten days.
Elowen: Thank you.
I said it to a stranger and it came out clean, with no sorry tacked on the end.
Outside, the wind was off the water and I had an hour before I had to be back at the pack house.
One hour that was mine. I did not know what to do with it.
I bought a coffee. Not on a tray, not for him. For me.
On the seawall, my wolf lifted her head for the first time in months.
The first thing he took was my voice at the table. I talked too much, he said, and I embarrassed him.
So I ate with my eyes down and my mouth shut, and I told myself that was being a good mate.
At his table, in front of eleven of his men, he said I was a warm body and a clean kitchen and that was all he needed me for.
They laughed. I laughed too. Then I served the potatoes.
When I got something wrong, he made me say sorry until it sounded right to him.
Maddox: Again. You don't mean it yet.
He held my shoulder to the wall while I said it seven times, until my voice went small enough for him.
He kept my ID in his desk drawer and my wages went into his account.
I had to bring back receipts for grocery money, and if the change was wrong, he wanted to know why.
A dollar. He wanted to know about a dollar.
Sitting there in the sun, I was so angry at him I could taste it, like pennies.
But I was angrier at me. How long did I call that house love?
I was proud to be chosen. God help me, I was proud.
My phone rang and his name came up, and my whole body went cold in the sun.
Maddox: Where the fuck are you?
Elowen: Town. Picking up your shirts from the cleaner.
The lie came out smooth. I have had a lot of practice.
Maddox: You be back by four. You make me come find you, and I'll make it worth my time.
Elowen: I'll be back.
He hung up. I sat there and shook for a minute.
Then I finished my coffee, because it was mine and nobody was going to take it off me.
I got back at three forty and went straight down to the cellar.
The copy went into the bag behind the pickle jars, under my mother's wool socks.
Two papers now. The one I gave them, and the one I keep.
For one hour I was nobody's Luna, just a woman in a town with a coffee.
Leaving him felt real. Not a wish, not a dream. A paper with a date on it.
Ten days until the council sends word. I have kept worse secrets than this.