I came down to the hall at first light because the bond would not let me sleep.
It pulled at my chest all night, toward the house where Evander slept.
He was at the long table with Piet, and he did not look up when I walked in.
He kept his eyes on his plate like the food might explain something to him.
I set the mug at his elbow the way I always did for the tower crew.
Nova: You should eat. You lost blood last night.
Evander: Leave it.
For one stupid minute I thought the bond would make him say something.
He just moved his plate an inch away from the mug.
Piet saw it. He looked at the wall and said nothing, same as the tower.
Then Adelie came in with her hair pinned neat and her silver pin already on.
She sat at Evander's right like the chair had her name carved into it.
Adelie: You're up early, Nova. Isn't the radio shed that way?
Evander: She's leaving now.
My face went hot, and my hands curled up at my sides.
I walked out before my voice could shake in front of all of them.
Behind me someone laughed at the table. I did not turn around.
I went to the supply room for wire and shut the door so I could breathe.
The door opened again and Evander filled it, and the room got smaller.
Evander: Don't come near me at that table again.
Nova: Then stop following me down here.
He stepped in until my back hit the shelf and the wire coils rattled.
His scent came over me, smoke and cold air, and my body leaned in before I told it to.
Evander: You think I want this? I can smell you from across the hall.
Nova: Then say it out loud. Say what I am to you.
He kissed me instead of answering, hard, like he was mad at my mouth.
I kissed him back. I got my fingers in his jacket and pulled him closer.
He made a low sound against my lips, and I felt it all the way down.
His hand slid up under my shirt, rough and warm, and closed over my breast.
I gasped into his neck, and he did it again, slower, until my knees went soft.
Evander: Fuck. You're shaking.
Nova: Don't stop.
His other hand went down my waistband, and his fingers found my clit like he had memorized it.
I bit my lip to keep quiet and rocked into his hand.
Evander: You want my hand on your pussy. Say it.
Nova: I want it. God, I want it.
I reached down and cupped him through his pants, and he pushed into my palm.
Evander: Shit. Don't.
He caught my wrist. He did not let me go either.
Then he pulled his hand out of my pants and stepped back like I had burned him.
Evander: This is not happening. Not with you.
Nova: You keep saying that while your hands keep doing something else.
Evander: Nobody hears about this. Not Piet. Not my father. Nobody.
Evander: I'm named heir. I get a Luna the pack can stand behind. You are not that.
Nova: Say the rest of it. Say you're ashamed of me.
Evander: I'm keeping it quiet. Say one word and I'll call it a lie.
Evander: Nobody believes a wolf-less girl over the Alpha's son.
There it was. He held all the power in the bond, and I held none.
I fixed my shirt and made my voice flat as a dead radio.
Nova: Fine. Your secret. But don't touch me again and then talk to me like that.
Evander: Nova.
Nova: Move.
That night I carried a blanket out to the radio shed and shut the door on the whole pack.
The static hissed, the bond pulled, and I let it pull.
He had touched me like I was his, then made me a secret.
A secret was not the same as nothing. It only felt close.