The morning came gray and cold, and Mom had me in a clean shirt before I finished my tea.
Ellen: You're not wearing that under your jacket. I raised a daughter, not a grease stain.
Josie: The grease is part of the uniform. People expect it.
The hall was packed wall to wall, and everybody was pretending not to stare at Dane.
He stood on the platform in the dark coat, and my stupid body noticed his shoulders.
Benny: You look like you're going to be sick.
Josie: I always look like that. It's my face.
Dane raised one hand, and the hall went quiet.
Dane: Before I take this rank, the pack needs to hear something. The fates gave me a mate.
Dane: I felt the bond the day I turned. I hoped they'd made a mistake. They didn't.
Dane: Josie.
My name in his mouth was a door opening in my chest. The bond pulled hard, and I knew it was real.
Every head in that hall turned to me at once.
Benny: Breathe.
Josie: I'm fine.
I walked to the front because my legs worked and my pride worked better.
Dane: You feel it too. Say it.
Josie: I feel it. I'm not the one pretending.
I kept my chin up like Mom taught me.
Dane: Then you know why this can't happen.
Josie: No. Tell the pack. Say it out loud.
His hand closed around my wrist and squeezed until I felt the bones shift.
Dane: I'm refusing you. I won't take a Luna who can't shift.
Dane: Look at you. No wolf, no shift, no use in a fight.
Dane: A broken bitch who smells like diesel. You think the pack wants that?
Spit hit my cheek when he said it. The marks from his grip were already turning red.
Dane: You want a Luna who can't run beside me? I'd be a joke.
Somebody in the back laughed, and somebody else told them to shut up.
Josie: Let go of me.
I yanked my arm back, and he let me. Then he shoved me.
I hit the stone step at the front of the platform, and my mouth filled with blood.
The hall went quiet. I could hear blood drip onto the wood.
Dane: Stay down. That's the smartest thing you've done all night.
Josie: You could have just said no.
I got up. My lip was split, but my voice came out steady.
Dane: The elders agree with me. A Luna must shift. The pack can't carry dead weight.
I looked at the elders. Not one of them met my eyes.
Dane: If you talk about this outside this hall, I'll put you off this mountain with nothing.
Dane: If you come back, I'll put you down myself. Do you understand?
I believed him down to my bones.
Josie: I understand.
Benny: She's worth ten of you! You coward!
Tom: Benny. Enough.
Dane: Tom, you're one word from losing the road crew. Benny, keep talking and I'll pull you off the training yard.
Dad put his hand on Benny's chest. His fingers were shaking.
Josie: Don't. Both of you, don't.
I didn't beg Dane. I didn't ask the elders to save me.
I looked at my family and saw what staying would cost them.
Dane: Good. Now go sit down.
Josie: I'm going home.
I walked out with blood on my teeth and my wrist already swelling.
Benny: Josie, wait. Wait.
I didn't stop until the cold air hit my face. Then I had to put my hand on the wall.
Mom had a wet cloth on my lip before my jacket was off. Her hands were gentle. Her face was not.
Ellen: They agreed with him. In that hall. They sat there and agreed.
Tom: The elders don't agree. They're scared of him, and scared is cheaper than fair.
Benny: I'm going back. I'm going to say it louder.
Josie: No. You're not.
Benny: He can't do this to you and get away with it!
Josie: He can. That's the thing. He can, and they'll let him.
Josie: And then it's your name on the list. Do you want that?
Benny's jaw was working. I knew that quiet. I hated that I was the reason for it.
Tom: We'll figure it out. We always figure it out.
Josie: Yeah.
I said it because he needed to hear it.
But I lay awake again that night, and this time I had a plan.
They would pay for me as long as I stayed. So I would stop being here to pay for.