I woke up with the lighter still in my fist, and I told myself the walk to the harbor was me being honest for once.
The receiving house smelled like rope and wet stone again, and the side door stood open like it was waiting to see what I would do.
I heard Hugo before I saw him, loud and cracked the way he got when he was scared and trying not to show it.
So I did what cowards do. I stopped in the doorway and listened.
Hugo: You think I don't know my own sister's face when she's been crying?
Aurelio: Then ask her why she was crying.
Hugo: Don't turn it around on her. You put your hands on her.
Hugo: In this room. On that table.
My whole body went hot and then cold at the same time, and I could not make my feet move.
Aurelio: Yes.
Hugo: Say it again. Say it like a man.
Aurelio: I put my hands on your sister. It won't happen again.
Hugo: Swear it to me.
Aurelio: I'll keep her away from me. You have my word on it.
His voice did not change. That was the worst part of it.
It was the same quiet voice he used to settle a debt, and I was the debt.
Hugo: She's not a problem you get to handle.
Aurelio: Then stop leaving her where I can reach her.
Hugo made a sound like he had been hit, and I heard the crate creak under him.
Hugo: I did this. I brought the debt home and she's the one paying for it.
I don't know which part of me moved, but the door scraped under my boot and both of them turned.
Hugo's face was wet. Aurelio's was nothing at all.
Aurelio: You're early.
Veda: I brought this back.
My hand shook so hard the metal clicked against the wood.
He did not pick it up. His jaw moved once, like he was chewing on a word he wouldn't let out.
Aurelio: Look at me.
Veda: No.
I said it because if I looked at him I would cry, and I was done crying in front of this man.
Aurelio: Look at me, Veda.
So I looked. His eyes dropped to my mouth first, quick, and then came back up like he had pulled them there by force.
His hand closed on the edge of the desk until the wood went pale under his knuckles. That was the crack. It lasted a second.
Aurelio: Veda.
Just my name, low and rough, and for one whole second I thought he would say the other thing.
Aurelio: Hugo's sister. Get out.
Hugo got up and took my arm, gentle, the way he used to walk me home past the dock bars when we were kids.
Hugo: Come on. I got you.
I looked back once from the door, and he had the lighter in his hand with his thumb on the wheel, not lighting it, just holding it.
He didn't look up until I was gone. Or I told myself that, because I needed something to carry out of there.
The harbor air hit my face and I wanted to scream, and under all that shame something small and mean felt almost like winning.
He had to hold on to that desk. He had to say my name first, before he called me Hugo's sister and put me out.